As one of my six blog readers recently pointed out to my wife, I need to write a new post! Sorry people, no cute pics in this post--just straight stream of consciousness at its best(worst). So what better to write about than my current all-consuming subclinical spazout/meltdown/freakout? I mean, seriously, my race is 34 days away people! That means i have exactly 20 days until my training ends and the final taper begins.
Have I put in the miles and time? Definitely. Do I logically feel prepared to finish my first Ironman. Sure. Am I totally freaked that I haven't put in the time/effort to have a good race? You bet your a$$! I've only been training for this for 7-8ish months now, what if I totally just fall apart? What if I'm so tired from wigging out in the swim that I can't even finish the bike? Will I go out too fast on the bike? Too slow? What if I get a flat--I've never changed a tubular before. What if I end up walking the run? What if I don't make the 17hr cutoff because of this? I know I shouldn't have time goals, but of course I know what I THINK I should be able to do--so what if I don't do that, have I failed myself?
And I'm TIRED. Last week was my hardest week of training I've ever done, and I finished the week strong, but I felt like I walked around in a daze all day today. I sleep well at night, and get more hours per night than I have in years, but I just feel drained. And I have 3 more weeks of it to look forward to. I know this has a lot to do with my freaking out--but that doesnt keep me from doing it!
I'm sure this uncertainty will only get worse over the next 5 weeks, so be patient with me people! OK time for bed, that 5:30am run comes way too early...
Just a small peek inside my crazy silly mind my friends, enjoy!
