As one of my six blog readers recently pointed out to my wife, I need to write a new post! Sorry people, no cute pics in this post--just straight stream of consciousness at its best(worst). So what better to write about than my current all-consuming subclinical spazout/meltdown/freakout? I mean, seriously, my race is 34 days away people! That means i have exactly 20 days until my training ends and the final taper begins.
Have I put in the miles and time? Definitely. Do I logically feel prepared to finish my first Ironman. Sure. Am I totally freaked that I haven't put in the time/effort to have a good race? You bet your a$$! I've only been training for this for 7-8ish months now, what if I totally just fall apart? What if I'm so tired from wigging out in the swim that I can't even finish the bike? Will I go out too fast on the bike? Too slow? What if I get a flat--I've never changed a tubular before. What if I end up walking the run? What if I don't make the 17hr cutoff because of this? I know I shouldn't have time goals, but of course I know what I THINK I should be able to do--so what if I don't do that, have I failed myself?
And I'm TIRED. Last week was my hardest week of training I've ever done, and I finished the week strong, but I felt like I walked around in a daze all day today. I sleep well at night, and get more hours per night than I have in years, but I just feel drained. And I have 3 more weeks of it to look forward to. I know this has a lot to do with my freaking out--but that doesnt keep me from doing it!
I'm sure this uncertainty will only get worse over the next 5 weeks, so be patient with me people! OK time for bed, that 5:30am run comes way too early...
Just a small peek inside my crazy silly mind my friends, enjoy!
I am inspired by your dedication. I may NEVER know what it is like to complete an iron man or let's face it anything more than a half marathon. I am ok with that. I do enjoy reading about your journey and seeing you meet your goals. You got this Doc!
ReplyDeleteIt will be wonderful. I had all of those feelings too. You have done the best you could at this time with your schedule. You will make good decisions on race day. You might look back and think you could have done something differently post race, but it will be overshadowed by pure happiness. :))))))) Yea Jerms!!!!!
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